FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILDREN, YOU HAVE A DUTY LOVE YOUR SPOUSE MORE.

AARON HASS Ph.D

Men occupy more position of recognize status and power than do women. "They usually make more money than women, and money is, perhaps, our preeminent symbol of achievement and worth. One result of this state of affairs is that, deep down, the husband tends to believe that his sphere, his work, is more important and more valuable than the one occupied by his wife, who is the mother of his children. This is true even if the wife has a job outside of the home because (1) she is probably earning less than her husband, and (2) she is still expected by her husband to fulfill the bulk of parental responsibilities.

It is ironic, what could be a more "powerful" role than that of the mothers who nurture and ship our children, the future of our society? But just as men do not receive many nods of approbation for being good fathers, women do not receive social recognition for being good mothers. We simply presume that women will be caring, nurturing, competent mothers to their children. we do not reward or acknowledge them for that.

Ask the typical father what is most important to him, and he will answer "My children." And yet, he dose not value his wife's role and her attendant activities involved is nurturing his children as much as he should.

He is pleased that his daughter takes ballet lessons. She has be-come more graceful, more dexterous, and more beautiful. who drives her to those lessons? Who bought her these ballet shoes? Who combed her in a way that makes her eyes seem to sparkle? He is thrilled about his son doing so will on Little League baseball team. His son has more self-confident, more popular with his peers, and more enthusiastic about his life. Who makes sure that his son arrives on time to his practices? Who keeps his son's uniform clean so that he looks like a smaller version of major league athlete?  

Your wife is the keeper of the things that is most important to you in the entire world. Let her know how much you her because of how well she cares for your children. Tall her, and then give her a big hug (in front of the kids is best). Do it today.

I do not mean to imply that loving you spouse more is a husband to wife, one way street. But because the traditional husband's efforts often provide more tangible benefits, he is more likely to receive recognition than his wife.